3 am

you remind me of tea at three am
that tastes as if without sugar
for there are tears lingering
at the bottom of the cup
you taste bitter with sadness

you also remind me of liquor
addictive
you make me furious
because i cant think of life without you
the AA meetings dont help
because they say you have to get up
after youve hit rock bottom
ive still got so much farther to go

that falling feeling you get when youre laying in bed?
ive grown accustomed to it when talking to you
the thought of you, though, gives me a jolt
of reality, since i know you're not real anymore

I wanted to save you
and take away the guns of stress against your head
because the taste of gunpowder gritted in ones teeth
is always bad